thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
