yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's like iHOP with fire
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
