Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
