you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
