I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
