If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
