when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
