where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
