So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
