her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
