big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Michael Bay diarrhea
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How naked do you want me to be?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
