Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
