bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
