i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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