Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize