we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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