i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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