Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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