found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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