Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
