I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
