Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
