Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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