Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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