Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
