I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I intend to get homeless drunk
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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