Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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