I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
