I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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