So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
