Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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