ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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