i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
