That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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