Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
