I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
