is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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