What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
