Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
