think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
