What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
