Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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