Do you still have your period?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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