I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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