big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
