Small penises have feelings too.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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