I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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