It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
even my farts smell like vagina
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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