there was a trapeze. enough said
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Come share oat with me in your robe
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
