Dual....:-)
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
